Collaborating with Parents
Earlier this year I attended a youth group night at Donvale Presbyterian Church. It was good to be there on a night that the parents were invited to be there too. It was good for the parents to see what happens on a youth group night - to play the games, hear the Bible talk, and enjoy supper. It also gave the youth leader an opportunity to talk with the parents for a few minutes about something the youth group is planning later in the year.
This is the kind of thing that chapter 6 of this little book is calling for. As youth leaders we can too easily become full of our own importance and believe that we are the greatest and strongest influences on the teenagers in our group. Let me pop that balloon for you.
It is important for youth leaders to know this, and to build a connection with the parents of the teenagers. This can be difficult if you have a huge youth ministry, but you can do it anyway. Let me ask you a couple of questions. Do you know the adults in your church who are parents of the teenagers in your group? If you had to put them together in family groups, could you?Parents and guardians have far more influence on the children and young people in their care than does anyone else.
It is important, vitally important, that you work in collaboration with parents wherever that is possible. This doesn't always mean you will agree with each other, but it does mean you are listening to what the parents are saying. Hopefully then they will do the same for you. So, please be in regular communication with parents wherever this is possible. A greeting on Sunday morning, an email to let parents know what is happening this week - or a review of what happened last week, an offer to pray for them this week - all these things can be a simple way to start.
Collaboration with the Church
In most of the churches we visited, youth ministry was somewhat separate from other church activities. This meant that most of the members of those churches had little idea what was happening in the youth ministry.Most of us would think this is not how church is supposed to be, yet this is what most youth leaders make happen. I'm sure we do it with the best of intentions, but the greatest value of youth ministry for the church is seen when that youth ministry is a part of the church and not a separate entity. (For extra points, watch this video with Dr Rodger Nishioka. If Mickey Mouse has one ear, something's wrong.)
Do what you can to develop connections between the generations in your church. The authors make reference to The Salvation Army and the relationship that develops between youth and older members in the bands. This is my experience. I grew up attending The Salvation Army in Hawthorn - now Waverley Temple Corps. It was here that I learned music and began playing cornet in the band. This meant that on Wednesday nights, Sunday morning and Sunday evening I would be with a group of people with a common focus. Over those years, I would often be sitting with someone who was a generation or two above me. I learned about music, certainly. But I also learned what it meant to be a Christian in your mid-forties, or sixties, or even older.
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| Not my band, but look at the generations here. |
It was a good - and full - life.
A confronting issue now for many churches is this - are there pathways from youth group into the wider church community? Take a moment to think about your own church. What happens with the youth once they are too old to be in youth group? Do many become youth leaders? Well, what about those who aren't leaders? How are they connected with the church?
Finally,
This chapter also makes comments about churches which are connected to schools and how to make the most of that setting. Most of our churches don't have that connection but nonetheless there are some statements in this section that can be helpful.One way of collaborating would be to develop youth ministry councils which include youth leaders, members of the local church, parents of the young people, and, where appropriate, members of the staff of the school.This is a concept that you can take to your church setting to help you build an effective youth ministry.
Christian Research Association have released the findings from research done on youth ministry in Australia. The book is titled "A Vision for Effective Youth Ministry".
There is much in this research which all pastors,
both youth and senior, should take seriously. In this series of posts, I hope
to give a brief summary of each chapter. Of course, you will be much better off
if you purchase the book yourself.
