Haemorrhaging Faith - Transfusing Life

So, we learn that young people are leaving the church. We’re not surprised at this because we see it in our own families and church gatherings. And it breaks our hearts.

We have two options before us. First, we can just ignore the problem and hope it goes away. I think we can probably find enough churches who have done this in past decades and see what the results are. Looking at them will show that ignoring the problem is a pretty dumb idea.

Secondly, we can do something. This means working out what we can do! Dave Overholt, gave us some strong and helpful suggestions. Over-riding all the suggestions is the phrase “Does it work!” I don’t think we should ever be driven by pragmatism in the church. This is a dangerous road. But for young people, we can lay out all the information we want, but the question they will still ask is “Does it work?” The power of testimony shows that people still want to hear from others about whether something worked for them or not.

So, here are some ways we can show that it does work.

·      Family Modelling

·      Personal Experience of God

·      Church Life

·      Thought filled teaching

(For a shorter review of the conference and Dave Overholt’s message, read Kylie Butler’s blog  here:)

1. Family Modelling

It is a great heartache for many parents that we haven’t modelled Christian faith well. It is here that children begin to learn if faith is real, or just something we put on for Sunday. Your children want to be ‘real’. They’re not going to go to church for the sake of appearance – remember the fence-sitters who won’t come to church because that would be hypocritical? These could be your children.

Interestingly, Dave says that it isn’t about family devotions, but more about how we talk and pray around our children. Here are some suggestions for modelling your faith with your family:

a.     Pray first; and pray out loud.

When there is an issue for your family, pray together about it.

When there is something good happening, praise God together.

As parents, pray out loud.

b.     Share your devotions

There is a direct correlation between how much the parents read the Bible and their children being part of the ‘Engaged’ group.

Talk about what you have been reading and learning.

Ask each other ‘what have you learned in the Bible today?’ ‘What did you read in the Bible today?’

c.      Do ministry together

If you’re going out to be involved in ministry, can you take your child with you? Last Sunday night I attended a prayer meeting. My heart leapt when one of the men of the church walked in with his ten year old son. That boy didn’t pray out loud, but he was there while others prayed. It’s a good way to learn.

Worship together. I don’t think you necessarily need to sit together as a family at church – I have rarely sat together with my family. But I do think it is important for you to be at church together. It is important for children to see their parents worshipping. (Maybe sending our children out of the church gathering isn’t as wise as we first thought.)

2. Personal Experience

Can we create a space where young people can experience God? Can we put young people into places where their experience of God is acknowledged? I enjoyed hearing this section of what Dave had to say, but I also need to record this carefully. I know it can be easily misunderstood.

a.     Create Experiential Environments

This isn’t about being manipulative with lights and sound. Instead, it’s about creating space and time where things happen. If I ask the question “How many of you had an experience of God at a retreat or a youth camp?” the response would be high.

Kara Overholt spoke of her youth ministry where they have a ‘prayer rug’, which is nothing more than a rug and some cushions in the corner of the room, but it is a place the kids know they can go and pray, or have a leader pray with them.

b.     Celebrate God Sightings

At least once every six months, ask people to share publicly how they have seen God move in their lives. For me, this used to be a part of public worship. So I grew up normally hearing at least one person talk about how God had done something in their life during the week. I grew up understanding that God moves.

c.      Dip your toe in the Supernatural. (Not my words)

This sounds a little more weird than it actually is. Put simply, it is just asking God “Who should I pray for?”, and then praying for them. It means asking God “What should I say to  . . .?” and if you have a response that cheers up, charges up, or builds up, then share it. If not, then seek further wisdom before sharing it with others.

If you feel a ‘tap’ or a holy nudge to pray for someone, or do something, then do it.

d.     Tackle Dark Nights.

Talk with the youth about what happens when you don’t feel God. Please don’t leave youth with the understanding that they will always feel happy if they are a Christian. This can build a very false understanding. Remember the fence-sitters who felt that the church ‘over promises and under delivers’.

(At this point in the conference, I seem to have got myself a little confused. Dave talked of four solutions, but in my notes I have six. I’m not sure which headings should just be a sub-point, so I’ll present them as six different points.)

3.         Church Life

Encouragement

Our children are growing up in a world where they get a certificate and an award at school for just turning up, or for just doing what is expected of them. In such a world, encouragement can be cheapened. In the church, let’s do a step better.  See Hebrews 3:13 and 10:23-25.

a.     Equip people to function in their talents

How can you allow people, particularly youth, to use their gifts and talents in the body of the church?

We make church a place people want to come when they feel that it is worth coming to. Using your abilities will do this.

b.     Make church a celebrating place.

Celebrate the people that are in your church and their achievements.

Be authentic in the hallways and car park of the church

c.      Use encouragement notes.

Allow youth to write notes of encouragement to each other. Allow adults to write notes to each other.

Older Connections

How important is it for our young people to be connected to older people within the church!! There must be cross-generational relationships within the community of faith.

a.     Youth leaders have a mentor within the church

This might mean asking someone to be a mentor for six months, or twelve months, etc. Putting a time limit on the request might make it easier.

b.     Adopt a Student. If your church is near a university, you can organise for a family to look after one student while he/she is studying. This would mean, for example, inviting them for a meal once a week, doing their washing, etc.

c.      Testimonies from older people.

Use video to bring testimonies from older people into your youth ministry. Have couples come and share their experience of ‘marriages that last’ to your youth. Here’s a great example:

            http://davemiers.com/what-is-love/

Serve in the morning worship

Here’s an interesting thought. Those on stage reflect the kind of people you’re trying to connect with. So, if you say you want to reach youth, but the only people who speak publicly have grey hair and a tie, you’re probably not going to connect.

a.     Youth need to get involved early in their attending

If they learn this early, they will know that this is normal at your church. If you try to get them involved too late, they might assume it’s just a token suggestion to keep them hanging around. If you have a church like we do at Croydon Hills, get them involved in packing up a few chairs.

b.     Have the youth serve morning tea. This is a great and simple way to get young and older talking together. I would also suggest having youth welcoming people to church is a good idea.

c.      Get youth doing significant things in the service

Taking up the offering, reading scripture, sharing a story of a God experience, helping with the sound and music, etc.

4.         Thought Filled Teaching

What does the teaching at your church reveal about Jesus? Think about the topics you teach about, and the topics you don’t teach. What does this tell others about you?

a.     Talk about tough and difficult subjects

-Two books that are helpful on this are:

            “Reason for God”, Tim Chester – issues that confront people

            “Paradoxology”, Krish Kandiah – Scripture that confronts people

b.     Are there restricted beliefs in your church?

Those things that nobody would dare to talk about?

c.      Can you answer the “Why?” questions?

We know that there are some of these questions that cannot be answered well, but are you trying? Are you seeking out the answers for some of these difficult questions? People should not be leaving the church with the “Why do bad things happen to good people?” question not being answered.

d.     Is there dialogue happening in your church?

A time for discussion after the service. (One of our ministers concludes his messages with a time for questions. Not a bad idea.)

Feedback through social media

Maybe even texting questions via SMS during your sermon.

Conclusion

It may be that the church will always lose people, and I understand that. There will always be people who grow up and grow out of the church. But we should never be happy with that. And we should look for a way to make that less normal.

Dave Overholt has presented some ways for us to think about what we can do. Which of these things would you take up at your church?

Have a look at the conference videos here - http://haemorrhagingfaith.org.au/