Is it really up to me?

Many of you who read this won't know the song "History Maker" by Delirious? but it was a song that I really liked singing about ten years ago. (If you don't know it, here's a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loyq_JCjZJY) And why wouldn't people want to sing a song like this?

"I'm gonna be a history maker in this world.
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind.
I'm gonna stand; I'm gonna run
Into your arms, Into your arms again."

I would sing this, and would lead others singing it, in the belief and desire that I could be a history maker; that I could be used by God to change lives in incredible ways and so I would make history. But is it really up to me? And is it all about me?

Today I have watched a youtube clip about motorbikes and one of the blokes in this was leading a company that makes motorbikes that are cheap enough to buy and simple enough to work on. He made this comment, "You go to College to learn how to change the world, but you can barely change a door handle." And then I was reading an article from a website I discovered today and there I read this:

‘When I was younger, I was part of a youth group and went along to the big events. I don’t know how many times I got told, “You can change the world for Jesus” or “You can be a history maker.” And because I was a really keen Christian, I believed it. I really believed it.
What’s interesting is that I’m nearly 30, and I haven’t changed the world yet. I don’t know how many of us who preached that mes­sage have. A couple of years ago I had to go through a process of realising that I’d actually been really damaged by that, because I felt like a failure. I believed what I was told. I thought I was going to be a history maker and change the world for Jesus. I gave myself to Jesus whole­heartedly, and don’t get me wrong, I made plenty of mistakes, but I was sold out for God, through school and through college. I called out to God in prayer for my friends and for the nations, and I still haven’t changed the world yet. We have to face the fact that as soon as we stand up on stage and say, ‘You can change the world’, to a group of 100 young people – we are creating 99/100 if not 100/100 failures. And I’ve done it, I’ve been the person on stage preaching, because it sounds great in a sermon.
(http://www.premieryouthwork.com/Past-Issues/2014/October-2014/Youth-work-in-the-age-of-the-selfie)

I understand exactly what this writer is saying because he has put into words my own thoughts and feelings. I heard that message when I was a teenager. I heard that message when I was training for Ministry. I preached that message 'because it sounds great in a sermon'. And if I feel like I've failed, then how many others do too?

And how many have doubted their faith because they haven't been able to do anything of great significance, anything that will go down in history? And how many have walked away from God thinking that He wouldn't be interested in someone who couldn't be a history maker?

I don't have an answer to these questions. But there is a reason that we can roll off the names of some of the great men and women of church history - because they stand out. And maybe, just maybe, they stand out from the rest of us not because of what they are but because of what God has gifted them to be! We can't all be Paul. We can't all be John Calvin. We can't all be William Booth. We can't all be Mother Theresa. And nor should we be.

I can be me. And, by God's great grace, I can be me in a group of people called the Church. Here I find that there is a group of people with whom I can worship, and encourage, and serve. Here I find that my weaknesses become strengths, and my strengths become weaknesses as I realise I cannot rely on myself.

Can I be a history maker? I've decided to leave that with God.

I'd rather people see Jesus.

What theology is guiding your life?

Last night Anne and I watched the film Philomena. If you don't know it, here is a brief description. The film tells the story of a lady trying to find her son who was taken from her for adoption in a Catholic home over 45 years earlier. I won't spoil the story if you haven't seen it, but the culprit in the story is undoubtedly the nuns, and the hero, at least in my mind, is Philomena herself, a woman of extraordinary grace.


What does this have to do with theology? Everything.

The film showed Philomena as a young girl having a fling with a young man, ending up pregnant and dumped at the convent by her family, where she was forgotten about. She had her baby - in incredible pain - and spent four years slaving in the laundry. Somewhere in that time, her child was adopted. Well, he was actually sold to an American couple, but 'adoption' is a nicer word. In the grounds of the convent was a cemetery. The graves here included some of the young girls who died in childbirth, as well as some of the babies.

Why did they have to work so hard and long in the laundry? Why was their pain in childbirth seen by one of the nuns as a good thing? Penance. Because the nuns were working with a theology of penance where you had to earn your forgiveness, the hard work and punishment was seen as something they deserved.

And here the question of penance it seems cannot be answered. How much is enough? How many sheets do you need to wash? How much pain do you need to survive in childbirth? How long do you need to suffer the loss of your son? How much or how long is enough to set me free? And the answer seems to be "Never." You can never do enough to earn your forgiveness.

This is evident near the end of the film when Philomena and the journalist she is working with meet an old nun who was there when Philomena's son was taken, and is still there. Everything that is wrong with a theology of penance is personified in this woman. Because she had kept her chastity and endured her 'mortification of the flesh' she seemed to think that she could keep people apart - the children looking for their natural parents, and those parents looking for their children. She believed that their suffering was required because of their actions. (The fact that the teenage girls had not taken a vow of chastity didn't seem to come into it.)

Compare this with a theology of grace. A theology that recognises the folly of penance and earning forgiveness and instead sets you free. Not free to sin, but free to live; and free to forgive.

This is what I find as I read the pages of the Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments. A message of grace and forgiveness; a message of hope; and a message of life. This is a message from God that says "While you can't, I can. While you won't, I will. I will set you free. I will forgive you. I will make you new." And once I've experienced that, how can I possibly demand that others work for their forgiveness?

So, what theology is guiding your life? A theology of penance where you have to work for forgiveness, knowing that you will never be able to do enough to be forgiven, or a theology of grace, knowing that it is all done. And it is done in Jesus.

I'll take Jesus.

Tenth and Final Session (August 22 2014)

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 10

Session 10

This final session gave people the chance to ask questions. Andrew gave lengthy answers to these, and there was a lot that was worth hearing, but I couldn't get it all. One of the students was recording the sessions, so I have asked him for a copy. 

Anyway, here are some questions that we were asked to use in reflection of what we have learned. 

Questions:

How has your view of ministry changed since starting this class?

What in your perspective of ministry has been affirmed?

What has been challenged?

What questions do you still have?

What issues/ideas woud you like to explore further? How will you?

What narrative still sticks with you? Why?

Which reading or part of your reading helped you think most deeply about God's activity? About your activity?

What is one theological perspective you will take with you? How will it impact your ministry?

Small Group Discussion Questions of Narrative (Movies / stories)

Where is the suffering of the cross?

What are the forces affecting the Characters' lives?

What issues are they dealing with?

What relationships are broken?

Why are they broken?

Do you see God as active in any of the characters' lives?

Following the cross, if you were to encounter one of these people in real life where would you be called?

What things would you do to help?

What things could your church do?

What other theological issues do you see (sexuality, violence, etc), and how would you deal with these?

What insights does this story give to the stories of the kids you work with?

How does this story connect with God's story in scripture and more specifically in the incarnation, crucifixion, and resurrection.

Some other things that came up in discussion.

Same and Different

Change in energy regimes, but humans are still the same ontologically (created in the image of God) to what degree to we work in the spirit of the age, or where do we work on people as 'image of God'?

We can't escape our cultural time, but has the cultural times so influenced us to see the ministry as just an idea of our time? Point of discussion - why do we think we need to get them together in a cohort of youth every week and an inter-generational event every now and then? What if we flipped that around? How would this change our ministry? Here's another suggestion. If the church has a mission trip, why does it need to be a 'youth' mission, or a 'young adults' mission trip. Why can't we have a church mission trip that involves all ages? Truth is, we can. 

Live your life with young people and wait for God to strike in the heart of youth. Live your life in place-sharing with young people, and even though you will screw up sometimes, live your life with God. (Quote from Luther - "If you are a preacher of Grace, then preach a true, not a fictitious grace; if grace is true, you must bear a true and not a fictitious sin. God does not save people who are only fictitious sinners. Be a sinner and sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly.") 

Scripture

Some use scripture like a sticker to give validity to what we're doing. Rather than just using Bible studies, why not have a Bible reading group. The story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch is used by Root in his book "Taking Scripture to Youth Ministry". Churches grieve that youth don't read the Bible, but no one is meeting with the youth to read the Bible with them. What is confusing to you? What's exciting? Where are you?

Read the Bible and read your life alongside that. 

Influence

If I make the goal more important than the person, then there's a problem. eg. If I have goals or expectations for my child to reach at school, and then find that she has a learning difficulty, the goals collapse and need to change.

Jesus

Get some key church leaders / people together. Ask the question "Where is Jesus in the context of this youth ministry?"

Start with the adults. Maybe as the youth pastor, be the place - sharer with the adult leaders. 

Ask the leaders to talk about a relationship that was transformational for them. Then consider how we can place that in the context of our ministry. 

Place-sharing

Think of this happening in a small group. How do I best connect with the people of this group? Create opportunities for an encounter between people of different generations. Create space. Create space! Create Space!!

Find the adults in the congregation who can connect with the kids in your group.

Don't leave here and just think you can spend time with people as the end point of ministry. We spend time with people trusting that God will break in to those spaces. God breaks in and participates in the life of humanity so that humanity can participate in the life of God. Our shared experiences of life - place-sharing - are an image of Jesus sharing the experience of life.

Final video: jasonheadley.com "It's not about the nail"

Ninth Session (Aug 22 2014)

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 09

Session 9

Shape of faithful place-sharing

How do we think about ourselves in place-sharing? Bonhoeffer "Be wary of the person who cannot be with others, but be just as wary of the person who cannot be alone." To be a place-sharer you need to be both open and closed - to identify with young people and to differentiate with young people. There's no relationship in enmeshment. 

It is necessary at times to say to young people, "I can't speak now", "I need some time with my family". This also communicates to those young people something significant. There are boundaries that those young people learn when they see them in action. (Story of having dinner with his ministry partner and family. Minister disappeared for a long while as dinner was prepared and eaten because some of his study group just turned up. He defined this as 'Relational ministry'. But this was killing his family - and not helping the young guys.)

When we consider people to be involved in our youth ministry, we should ask ourselves how open and how closed they can be. If they are too open or too closed, that should give us reason to be concerned. 

Video: Good Will Hunting - scene where the two characters meet for the first time.

Barrier (Confrontation)

In a strong and healthy relationship it gives us a place to confront and provoke when they're doing dehumanising things to themselves and to each other. Friends confront and judge each other. You can't get to a friendship through judgement, but once you have a relationship, judgement comes naturally. It might be the need to confront / ask about some behaviour.

Paradoxically, you cannot be in a relationship without something of yourself being put to death. 

Video: Freedom Writers. Andre meets teacher in the corridor. She acknowledges his situation, and then confronts him with his self-marking and then confronts him with what she sees in him - and that is not failure.

Confronting someone gives them the opportunity to confront us on our behaviour. 

Corresponding to reality 

"A theologian of glory calls evil good and good evil. A theologian of the cross calls a thing what it is." Luther. 

Video: About A Boy. Scene where the boy keeps turning up at Will's place, eventually talking about boy's mum. (A guy who just spends time with this kid)

Consider the power of presence where adults within the church open their lives up to some of the youth; where they just simply spend time together. In the film, it is the pattern of just being together that matters. He wasn't waiting for the big questions to be asked. 

Story of Bonhoeffer doing his internship in Spain; connecting deeply with the ten-year old boy who is sad because his dog has died. Bonhoeffer gives the boy space to share his experience - he is a place-sharer. But with all his knowledge, he couldn't answer the boys question "Will I see Mr Wolf in heaven?". He wrote about this, "I felt small next to his question." It is in sharing the depth of life that theological and deep questions come up. 

Mutuality in Freedom

Relationship as influence means an introvert cannot succeed. In fact, the more extroverted you are, the more successful you will be. But with place-sharing, you can just be what and who you are, and there is freedom to be an introvert. Maybe instead of just throwing questions out to people, we should be silent, or speak more about our own experiences. 

Song Video: The Teenage Song. (How is it that I haven't heard of this song before?!?!?!) [I can't find the link. But will share it when I do]

Where am I at with this place of faithful place-sharing?

Book: Amplifying Our Witness - Benjamin Conner

Eighth Session

Continued from Session 7:

Evangelism goes from global to something smaller. It becomes relationalistic. Like the TV host who speaks in a way to make you feel like he is your friend, even though you'll never meet. Evangelism becomes to the level of the individual. If identity is found in people's interest, how do I transfer their interest to the gospel? The best / only way is to do an "Inception" - based on the movie. How can we 'incept' a different idea in to their mind? Through relationship. So friendship evangelism was born. 

A significant change here was instead of people going out to the world to do ministry, the church began to seek how she could get people to come to church. Evangelism was endorsing the benefits of the church to the individual.

It took the form of a relationship, but had an end point. 

Rifken suggests that the next era will be an era of shared energy. Buildings will create energy, and share it. Communication is shared - and we see the Internet filling this. 

Does this give new paradigms for ministry and pastors? 

Neuroscience is teaching that the brain works in community (the more you spend time with people, you start to think alike). Shared experiences have their impact too. We can make an argument that people are not their interests, they are their relationships. People are not individuals, they are persons, and personhood requires relationship. 

Looking back at the early church, we see rich and poor in church together as brother and sister - a relationship of family. When we see people as our brother / sister, it changes us. 

The old Christian doctrine of Hypostatic union matters today. Both a divine and human nature combine fully in the person of Jesus Christ. Maybe the church is a place where people can share in their personhood - in their lives and experiences and in the events of life.

Praying with each other in the stories of our life. It is hearing the story of someone that helps us to pray in a deeper and more connected way. 

Video: Extremely Loud. "But people aren't numbers, they're like letters. And letters want to join together and become stories."

__________

Movie: Whale Rider. Tradition is important but can strangle. The chief loves and depends on his tradition, but can't see what is happening around him. (How many churches are like this?) Element of baptism into death - the weak one can lead us because the weak one is not afraid to die. The one who is overlooked is the one who will lead.  

Seventh Session

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 07

Session 7

The idea of place sharing is helpful not just in youth ministry, but in ministry across the church. 

Changing metaphor of the Pastor

Book: The Relational Pastor - Andrew Root.

Pastors continue to be told 'everything has changed' (as if we needed to be told). In the 90s it was a move to post-modernism. We know we are in a post-christendom era.

Book: "The Empathic Civilization" - Jeremy Rifkin. Rifkin looks at three things that bring change. New energy, which leads to New Communication which leads to New Consciousness. There is a connecting change in ministry.

Journey through history

Pre-agricultural

Energy was Hunting / gathering. The earth was a living thing we responded to. We lived in small groups. Communication was oral, which was needed to help know what was safe or dangerous etc. Consciousness is mystical consciousness.  The spiritual leader would be a cosmic story-teller. Telling people why and what the world actually was. (Youth in our groups don't assume we would know what and what the world is - they expect science classes will teach them that.)

Agricultural

Energy was Agriculture. Earth was no longer a 'person', but something that could be managed and organised more than responding to it. Now resources began to move - trading grain, diverting water, etc. Communication now becomes script - writing. When people learned how to use agriculture, they developed script to work the trade across localities. Now, God was no longer seen to be a local deity, but much more transcendent. Consciousness moves from blood ties to religious ties. Now humanity begins to connect with people of faith. The pastor /minister is the rise of priesthood."The priest is the manager of divine things. Offering sacrifices or sacraments as text demands. He is also the one who reads the text to the people - the sacred reader" Max Weber

Industrial Revolution

First Industrial revolution - energy is the machine. Communication is the printing press. Consciousness is now ideological. Now that coal and steel become important, boundaries become important to protect these resources. The earth is no longer seen as a living thing but a container of resources that can be taken out. (The earth is no longer an enchanted thing). Now we fight along ideological lines. (WW1 shows nations who believe the same text and even singing the same songs of faith fighting each other.) Something else happens along this too: it starts the arrival of the 'self', the individual. You are now the individual that reads, that thinks, that votes, etc. Religion is in the nation state - so we talk about countries as 'Christian countries'. Ministry becomes about protecting a certain way of life. So Eisenhower, in the time of the Cold War, wants people to go to church. He wants his country to be different to the communistic state. Minister is pushing people to be moral and upstanding. he was the upstanding man in the community. He held cultural esteem. 

Evangelism - moving the message - started to become global, especially in the UK. The steamboat will take you to people who are not in the same energy regime that you are. (A dark side of this is the view that because they are in a different energy time they must be less than us - the heathen.)

As we come into the next phase, there is a significant change in attitude to church. 

Second Industrial Revolution

Second Industrial Revolution - now has Oil / Electric as the energy. (Churches built from this time on need a car park, but earlier churches didn't). The car becomes significant. It now makes people feel even more an individual - the car will take you to what you are interested in. We are free from needing others to get our interests met. This leads to a change and confusion between want and need. (Barth on Lord's Prayer: "This is the invitation to pray our need, not our want.")

Communication becomes the wave. It began with receiving the wave as sound - the radio, and eventually with vision - the TV. At this time, you could travel alone to get home to watch TV alone. Now with more tv and radio, you are what you are interested in. You should be able to watch what you're interested in. 

Rifken says there is now a therapeutic consciousness - we are individuals with interests that must be met. Technology is meeting our needs, so we can chase our own fulfilment. (He also comments that the periods of energy have a shrinking period of time.)

How does all this impact ministry? Ministry becomes about programs of intervention. For the first time we become obsessed with programs because programs cause people to make the choice between my church or another church. So, if parents are interested in helping their kids connect to other kids, they'll go to the church that has the best youth program. 

This is exhausting for pastors who see people come to their church for a while and then leave a few years later to go to something 'better'.

What happens to the pastor through these times? He moves from the moral exemplar to the creative energetic visionary. He's not the one with the deepest theological understanding, but someone who can manage the programs. He is someone people can identify with - he's no longer the 'holy' one in clerical garb, he's the guy in a Hawaiian shirt. He's not the 'man out there', but now a golf partner.

Ministry now depends on numbers, because programs run on numbers. This is the first era in the history of the church that we are so interested and burdened by numbers. Youth ministry is the lovechild of individualism and program - we were birthed in program. As such, it is really hard for youth ministry and for youth ministers to break out of the mindset of ministry as a program. 

Be careful to remember that neither programs nor numbers are evil. Programs help to organise our ministry, but I hope our ministry is more than just managing programs. Numbers can tell a story. If you had fifteen kids in the youth group, and now have five, there is a story behind that. 

(To be continued)

Sixth Session

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 06

Session 6

Why the change? Space and time are not the same. All of us today are movers. Some move as winners of globalisation, and some as losers of globalisation. Moving across borders for work, or moving across borders for holiday. Technology causes us to move. Uses the example of a Tivo manipulating time and so we desire to fast forward. 

Consumption and 'intimacy' don't take much time, so we can make a change almost immediately. An example of this change is seen with "Amazon" that does exist in a space, but is not dependant on that space nor on time. So if youth can change their identity with changing their clothes style, they might (will unconsciously) apply this to their faith. 

Consumption and intimacy are great, but they don't last. We get excited about something new, but that doesn't last long. But that's ok, because we can just go and buy something new the next day. But, it will cause you to ask "What is the point of my life?" Consumption and intimacy are created to fail.

What do we do with this?

There's something about the question of identity as a disciple of Jesus Christ when people can drift from faith and change their identity so easily. Particularly when people get to University.

One way we have failed is to turn youth ministry into a consumeristic world. T-shirts, hats, magazines, etc. Are we getting them to "buy for Jesus"? 

The other level is praise and worship music phenomenon which plays on sensation and emotion. Songs which have the "Jesus is my boyfriend" feeling. Sensation feelings of closeness (intimacy) that don't last, and certainly are deeply challenged in university or in settings where Jesus feels absent. 

Helpful to turn to Bible. 

Story of Jacob. He lives up to his name as a 'heel' (deceiver). Comes back to the country and knows Esau will be waiting. Sends his cattle to Esau to pay him off. But Esau continues to come. Next he sends his wives and children to lead the way, to give them to Esau. Then God shows up, and Jacob and God begin to wrestle. (Which is out of context for Jacob who normally flees). Even when he is struck, he won't let go and demands a blessing. The angel asks for his name, "Who are you? What is your identity?" Jacob - the one who lives up to his name. He is renamed. 

Maybe we need to be the people who wrestle with God. Sometimes to bring young people into that wrestling. If you wrestle with God, you'll always leave limping. 

Do our leaders limp? Or do they walk with a swagger? Do they know what it is to wrestle with God? Do we know that others in our congregation are wrestling? Do we care? Can we wrestle together with God - me helping them in their wrestle? 

The best theologians and ministers ask the disturbing questions. Do we give space for people to ask their questions? Do we allow people to ask their questions? Those who ask the questions might actually have a deep faith and are seeking to understand it better. Don't dismiss their questions.

We can allow them to talk through their experience of the absence of God, not just their experiences of the presence of God. We can join in prayer of thanks for those who have experienced the positive presence of God, but never NEVER forget those who, in the same community, have experienced and who continue to experience the absence of God, or the pain of life.

How can we help those who, in times of fear and doubt, rightly say, "I can't see Jesus." Perhaps we can share their place and respond, "Jesus is here. And if you can't see Jesus, you can see me. And I will believe for you."

Bonhoeffer: When one does theology, when one does ministry, there is no room for loose phrases. (Christianese; religious language; cliches; church jargon)

The good news of place sharing is that you already are what you need to be. It also means you need to live your faith out. Allow others to see your wrestle with God. Allow youth to see adults wrestling in faith. (Inviting people to wrestle with God is dangerous, but only if they do it in a vacuum. Wrestling in a community where other have worked through, or are still wrestling, is where this should be done.)

Video: Johnny Cash "Walk the Line" - audition scene where the producer says "You don't believe it." People have heard the 'christian song' over and over again. But have they heard you wrestling with God? Have they heard of the journey of wrestling from other days?

Movie: Pieces of April

Fifth Session

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 05
Session 5

Question of identity and how youth are forming identity.
One element of discipleship is seeing yourself as a disciple of Jesus Christ. This is an element of identity. Sociologists realise that there is a change in forming identity - we no longer look at the past and where we have come from, but to the future and where we want/hope to be.

Christianity will have conflict with this as we base our vision and identity on a book of the past. Modernity takes our chin and turns it towards the future. Tradition no longer holds authority; the holder of authority is now 'me'. Before we criticise this modern world, let's remember that even within church families, children are raised to set their own destiny, and to believe that they can do so. As another example, success of many Universities is based on research and discovery.

In a religious community, you were told who you were, and this identity connected to the religious movement. (Some sociologists use the phrase "only the king was alone".) But in our time if we find our identity as "a follower of Jesus Christ" that is much more nuanced than it has been in the past. There is also a (unfortunate) move amongst youth that they might say "I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. But that might change when I get to university."

The changing place of our identity

Skills and Abilities
Previous generations found identity in their skills and abilities. And adolescence is a time that this begins to happen. So if you find that you are good with numbers at that time, you would work on that and become an accountant.

Your Love
Identity also found in the ones you love. So I would be a husband and a father.

Melting

Melting of identity in skills.
In our societies, work and love are failing as things in which to find identity. We are in a time of fluidity. If a 15 year old declares they know what they are going to do for the rest of their life, we won't dismiss them, but we also understand that they will probably not continue doing that for the rest of their life. In economic fluidity, we can no longer find our identity in our work because our careers change so often.
Now, when kids go to university, parents will say "Don't get too bogged down in one thing."

Melting of love
Late marriage and a high divorce rate means it is more unlikely that people will fall in love only once.

Being involved in a religious community is seen as something that belongs to a 'conventional way of life' - mortgage, marriage, children. As this is happening later, this age group are disconnected to the church.
(Andrew commented that in university abandoning religion is seen as a sign of maturity, of growing up and away from your family. To maintain religion is seen as immaturity. There is so much wrong with this. To suggest that people who maintain and grow in their faith haven't taken the time to study and know it for themselves smacks of arrogance.)

If a 13 year old kid is leaving your youth group, she is probably asking big questions about her identity. And if her mum has just lost her job, she is also asking a lot of questions about her own identity.

from work to consumption
In our western world, it is what we own that reveals our identity. People cannot be so linked to their work because it can change so much, but can be linked to their possessions. Christian Smith book "Souls in transition" shows all people in the group answered this question the same way, "Is it ever not ok to buy something?" They all answered, "no".

So youth are greatly influenced by people like Kardashian who do nothing, but people love them. She just buys stuff, and this becomes significant. Illustration of people who hate being asked "What do you do for a living?" but are very happy to talk about the car they drive, or what they want to drive.
Parents who give their teenagers a credit card might seem ridiculous to me, but it might be that those parents understand that it is what their kids own that gives them social status and so projects their identity.

from love to intimacy (please note the definition of 'intimacy'.)
There is a change from love as traditionally understood to intimacy as the 'self gratifying sensation of closeness'. Twilight books and films were surprisingly popular amongst middle-aged women as the vampire character reveals a man who gives intimacy, even though in all reality no one would really want to be married to a vampire.

"It's not that I don't love him anymore, it's just that there's nothing there." Which means there has been a change from love to self-gratification. This is a time where people accept the phrase "If it's hard, it probably means it's not meant to be." (How pathetic is that!!!!)

We are heading to a generational crisis in the church. We will have generation of people who will see the church as something to consume; who will inherit a number of buildings and have no idea how to maintain them, and no will to do so.

These generations ask good and confronting questions to each other. The older asking the younger "You really think you can form identity around 'intimacy' and consumption?" While the younger generation ask the older ones, "You really want to bring people into a community and ask them to find their identity in a way that makes no sense anywhere else?"

Implications
If there is a change within the culture that we are mixing in, how can we present the gospel of Jesus, and the love and true intimacy found there, to a generation that will only give themselves to something based on what they can get?

Kids have grown up in an age of consumerism, so how do we connect with them?

And how do we also connect with the group who are mixing up consumerism and activism (fair-trade)? Interestingly, are we creating a generation who believe they can improve the world by buying stuff? By buying more 'fair-trade' stuff. By buying a flux watch . . .

One lady in the class used the illustration of a roller coaster to describe marriage. There are hard times going up, but once you get over that, it's a great ride. And you want to keep going.

What do I do with this?

Not sure yet. Do we fight against consumerism? That might help, or it might make us even more weird than we already seem. Which might be ok. Perhaps the question I need to wrestle with for now is "How do I help young people find their identity in Jesus alone?" Not 'Jesus and an iPhone', or 'Jesus and a university degree'. Nothing wrong with an iPhone (well . . .) or a university degree, but iPhones go out of date and most people don't work in the area they earned their degree in anyway.
Too much to think about!


Questions: How can the church be Counter-Cultural and still connect?

Fourth Session

This session involved a lot more discussion, and so notes are shorter. The implications to a theological vision of ministry to youth are important, and require some thinking. Could be another restless night. 

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 04

Session 4

Relational ministry of Influence

This is driven by the "how" Question. How do we get kids to the camp? What's the next big model to use. This means we end up becoming the programmer trying to put something together to keep kids coming. It also means we're engaged with cultural conflict, that we are working to revitalise the denomination or to keep kids good. 

The relational ministry of place sharing is different. This drives to ask "Who are these young people?" It's not about getting the kids as numbers to boost the program. Bonhoeffer says the 'how' question is the question of the devil. The 'who' question is the question of discipleship. In youth ministry in the States, the aim seems to have been getting kids interested in the idea and values of Christianity rather than connecting them to Jesus himself. I expect this is unintentional, but is it possible that this could also be said of us in Australia? Worse, could it be said of me?

It also turns us from being programmers to being a Theologian, where we start to look for and consider God's involvement in this person's life. And instead of 'cultural conflict', we lean into the narrative of Jesus' action in the world as crucified and resurrected. 

Video: The Soloist. "Just be his friend and show up"

Summarize:

In looking at ministry in relationship, we turn from epistemological to ontological; from teaching to being. And this has consequences. One is that we accept that we don't manage the kingdom of God, we point to and experience the kingdom of God. 

Be a pastor to the whole church and advocate for the teenagers.

Create spaces for the encounter between God and youth to happen - recognising we cannot make it happen. 

Thought: youth ministers need to be theologically savvy enough to be able to justify our position to senior pastors and boards who expect us to be something else.

Third Session

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Session 3

What do we mean by 'relationships'? 

Is it for personal influence? Do we use relationships to gain influence for our ministry. If so, we see it as a means to an end. This points to the 'third thing' in the relationship; the thing this relationship is leading to. Bonhoeffer says there is no third thing in relationship, just my responsibility to live as Jesus in this relationship (I've paraphrased). (Here is the proper quote: “When we encounter the neighbour, God is there.” He says, “There’s not a third thing. There’s no third thing. There’s just me and you or I and thou, and Jesus Christ becomes present there, not outside of that")

If we see relationship as a tool for influence, we use the relationship to get them to decide the way we want them to decide; it is a means to an end. Andrew talked about the results of a long study being revealed - I think it was NSYR which he refers to in "Revisiting relational youth ministry" and the young man looking at Buddhism. If the point of a relationship is to influence someone to a given end, then it's easy to cut loose from those who won't or don't conform.

We all know what it's like to be all alone and crying feeling that there is no one there to hear us. But we use relationship to guide people into what we want them to be rather than just enter into a relationship with them. And this is not the better way.

Incarnation trumps influence. Theologically, incarnation trumps influence. Used the Paul Harvey story of the birds freezing on Christmas Eve. Briefly, a bloke decides not to go to church on Christmas Eve in the snow, much to the disappointment of his family. There are birds outside who he beleives will die in the cold, so he goes outside, opens his shed, and tries to shoo them in, but they won't go near him. He puts bread crumbs down, but that doesn't work. He's getting colder and knows the temperature is dropping but they won't follow him. He realises that if he becomes a bird he could lead them into a safe place. Then church bells ring and he is struck by incarnation. 

Root suggests this story doesn't fully explain incarnation deep enough. 

As Christianity moved into the Greek world, where spirit was good and matter was evil, the thought that God took on flesh was too much, and Docetism was promoted. But the church dismissed that believing we needed a God who really did become flesh.

Trinity does not equal Influence. The relationship within Trinity is not about influence. As such, this is the better model of relationship for Christian people to consider.   

Video: Showed a clip from "God or the Girl" which showed a mission worker at a university saying to her team, "Have an Ice-cream with them, play frisbee, and then they'll come to a Bible study at least out of loyalty to you."

Place-Sharing

“Just as a good politician is for her people, a good teacher is for his students, and a good father is for his children, so Jesus Christ is for us. Jesus Christ shares our place.” Bonhoeffer.

So in relationship with another person, we share their place. This means we stand in for them. It means we connect with the full person. This means the relationship is not a means to an end, the relationship is the end in itself. Embrace the full humanity of the young people we work with.

Story: youth worker and the senior ski trip where the girl with bi-polar has an episode. Parents are angry that he would allow her to come along to the trip. One dad demanded to know "I understand that someone like her should be allowed in the church, but tell me, how is she getting better?"

The call of relational ministry is faithfulness - that no matter how dark it gets, you are not alone. 

We suffer with people. If we have a third thing to get to, then we don't suffer with them unless we believe it will lead them to where we want them to go. There is something about suffering and brokenness where God breaks through. Paul points out to the Corinthians that it is God who comes to them in our weakness. Isaac, the child of the promise, is born from a barren womb. The promise of God, indeed God himself, comes to his people in brokenness and impossibility.

This ministry is about young people's experience. In relationship, we can wrestle with them through their experience. In youth ministry, we have the incredible gift wrestling with young people through the questions and experiences of life. But if you're looking at relationship as influence, the questions and experiences will frustrate you. 

The incarnation shows the  trinity as self-giving. The Father is satisfied that the Son is the fullness of the Godhead, and the Spirit keeps the presence of God with humanity (I think I'm misquoting him here, but you get the idea.)

Final thought: Maybe the point of youth ministry is not to get the kids on the bus, but to sit with them in the despair and anger of life; and then to trust that God will get them on the bus. Be with and for them as Jesus is with and for us.

Second Session

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Session 2

(Sorry about the photos. I can't work out how to resize them on the iPad yet. And one of them is a bit fuzzy. I hope you get the idea. If you have any questions, leave a comment, or send me a message.)

Andrew Root began this session explaining why he got into this area of youth ministry. This story is in "Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry" and involves a group of kids turning up to use the steps for skateboarding. The church employed Andrew to bridge that gap between the church and these kids. How do you do ministry with kids who didn't accept your relationship but still keep coming back?

These kids weren't sure if he was there for them, or if he was there to get something from them - 

Why have relationships been an important part of youth ministry?

  -mutual encouragement amongst youth

  -trust builds up in relationship

  -you find you're not alone in your beliefs, or with what's going on in life

The term 'relational ministry' is a redundant term. How do you do ministry without a 'relationship'? Something happened after WW2 to bring this term into being. 

Changes in family and society

(See photo).

 

In times past so much happened within the family. It was here that people dealt with religious growth and questions. Luther's Small Catechism was written for families, not for pastors. Most education would happen within the family as well. (Little House on the Prairie shows the one school classroom - which is historically accurate). The family was also an economic unit. For the family to survive, you needed each other. 

Step into a modern world and we see these 'circles' have become worlds unto themselves.

(see photo 2) Work and School are separated from each other and from the family unit. This means that the relationship sphere is also separated from the family and you have to work out and negotiate relationships ourselves. (Used the illustration of making promises at a baby's baptism - promises that become impossible to keep. They are making these promises within the relationship sphere.)

Youth Ministers get frustrated that kids act one way at church and another way at school. But we forget that their parents are the same - relationships are now built in different contexts and we work through who I should relate to within these contexts. 

Field of cultural totality

Anthropologists tells us every society has some form of these things:

family

society

government

economy

religion

 In 1950's USA, Family and Religion were dominant cultural realms. Now, economy is dominant, with society close by. Religion is still there, but isn't guiding family choices as much as they would have in the past. 

Youth Ministers get frustrated that parents don't seem to support youth group etc. It's not that parents make this decision because they hate their kids. They make this choice because they love their kids and want to help their kids have a good future. It is the economic perception that guides their decision. 

If the first circle is the dominant scene, relationship just happens. With economy and society being dominant, relationship is on the outer. Now we begin to talk about and seek relationship. Youth are seeking to negotiate their way through relationship stuff in different contexts, and so it is our chance to help them here. 

How is this relevant? Kids who don't come to youth group much, but want to do their 'community service requirements' at youth group; or count the short-term mission trip to their Edinburgh award. Cultures who have a strong family commitment, but their kids are growing up in a different context and working to a good economic status. This is particularly when immigrant families bring their kids to a country to give them a better future, but still expect them to live like an old life. 

We should also consider that the first circle has many flaws as well. If dad is the village drunk, that is our family narrative. And not all religious contexts have been good. 

Defining Adolescence

Adolescence began in 1904.. For most human history, teenagers dressed like their parents. The transition from childhood to adulthood happened very quickly - native americans would go out on the big hunt as a child and return as an adult. Now we live in a culture that hangs onto adolescence. 

G Stanley Hall wrote a book called "Adolescence" that says sometime after 12-13 you have a psychic break, a time of stress and storm where you go crazy. No one had thought of this as a period of time. There are holes in this theory (Margaret Mead) but most of us see there is truth here too. 

The introduction of the High School further separated youth from adults. It also means the youth were spending longer at home and were spending less meaningful hours with their parents. 

So churches hire people who can work with these crazy teenagers

Relational Crisis

There is a backlash to what happened over this period. Amazing things were created, but bring with them their own problems. A new highway means people can travel quickly, but also means a lot of people died on that road. Power plants mean there are lights etc, but also a lot of pollution. Now there is a lot of freedom in negotiating relationships, but there is a danger in this too. 

We define relationships by technical rationality. Economy is guided by the bottom line and the numbers. We end up doing this in our relationships - even to the point of marriage. "It's not that you're a bad friend, but I feel like I'm putting more into this relationship than you are."

As such, it's not surprising that we put the word "relational" before "ministry" even though it shouldn't be needed. 

Our session today ended as it will each day with us watching a film. The film is called Thirteen and it is a harrowing film. Worse, it is real. It is not a film that is easy to watch, and I don't think I would recommend it, but a film such as this is worth watching to remind me that the beautiful life within the church is not what everyone else gets to lead. And I'm reminded that Jesus died for sinners, not just the ones who are in the church now. 

Comment: thirteen is an age of transition, but there is nothing to transition to but consumerism and hyper-sexuality.

First Session

The first session with Dr Root was an introductory session. Everybody introduced themselves, and it is a large group so I won't get to know everybody over this week. A big portion of the students are from the Presbyterian church, and one of these is a national director. I'm looking forward to spending some time with him this week. 

With the introductions done, Root gave us some basic definitions and a basic process to work with in practical theology. 

Practical theology - theology in a concrete / lived experience. This is theology in connected to everyday life. 

Practical = human action

how are people reacting to the world they live in

Theological = Divine action

how are young people experiencing the presence or absence of God

Practical theology and Youth ministry

There are two basic conclusions to the sentence: "Youth ministry is for . . ." These are:

"To keep our church going." Churches employ a youth minister because they recognise that without youth their church will cease to exist. And employing a youth minister is the 'best' way to connect with youth. There is, of course, so much wrong with this attitude.

"To keep our kids good." It's a bad world our kids are living in, and people in churches recognise this. So they employ a youth minister to be another voice in teaching the youth to live a moral and clean life.

Both of these answers place enormous pressure and expectation on the youth minister, and doesn't leave room for reflection on either theological or sociological level.

As youth ministers, our care should be much deeper than just 'virgins and conversions'. He offered four reasons why practical theology matters in ministry, particularly in a youth context: (these are my summaries)

1. If we stand between divine and human action, we need to do some thinking about what we are doing and why we are doing it. Think about different models.

2. This thinking can help to keep us from fragmenting the church. Sadly, it is seen that the one who is ordained who knows all and does all. If we see ourselves in the space between divine and human, then we are all involved in the process and in ministry. Everyone is involved in practical theology in this way. 

3. It also forces us to recognise that those who turn up to our ministry are not necessarily always like that - who a person is on Friday night at youth group is not who they are completely. 

4. It holds together theory and practice. Both of these are important. To have a theological experience that lives in their day to day life. 

How Practical Theology works.

Moves from Experience to Reflection to Action. Systematic theology may begin with doctrine, but practical theology begins with action - the human element. General theological studies will often ignore the action and experience question, and youth ministry will often neglect the theological aspect. Practical theology brings them together.

How does this help?

Four questions to ask as we deal with varied situations and conversations within youth ministry. Firstly, "What is going on?" This is the descriptive question. In trying to answer this question, seek to be an anthropologist, not a journalist. This means looking beyond the current situation to see what lies behind it.

Secondly, "Why is this happening?" Taking a shortcut with the first question will impact this one. Our first response may not be the right one. Thirdly, "Where is Jesus Christ in this?" There will be some instances in our ministry where this is easy to answer. But it won't be long before we realise that giving a glib answer won't actually answer the question. This is where the 'absence of God' can confront us.

Finally we ask the pragmatic question, "How should we act?" 

Discussion

From here our class spent quite some time discussing how this fits in a New Zealand context, and most of the conversation would make sense in an Australian context also. I may write more about that later.

But I conclude this section with the value of testimony. I was greatly encouraged to hear Andrew Root talk about the value and importance of testimony, not between teenagers, but to have an adult share a testimony to the youth. Someone who loves Jesus and knows Jesus well, yet has dealt with all kinds of difficult life situations.

Never dismiss the power of testimony.

Keep on Learning

It is far too easy to believe that you know all there is to know. And when you get a bit older, it is a terrible trap to fall into. Age and experience are great teachers, it is true. But sometimes you need to step up and listen to people who know stuff.

This week I am looking forward to doing just that.

A I type this, I am sitting in a coffee shop in Melbourne Airport waiting for a plane to take me to New Zealand. There I will spend a week at Laidlaw College in a special week with Dr Andrew Root. For those who know his writings, you might wish you were with me. If you've not heard of him, I encourage you to look him up online.

Through the week I intend to share on this new blog some of what I have been learning. And in future weeks and months, will use this blog as a place to share some of my wisdom and experience in the hope it might be an encouragement to many others.

Ministry and Youth are a powerful and exciting combination. Learning more about that combination is something I'm looking forward to.