Fifth Session

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 05
Session 5

Question of identity and how youth are forming identity.
One element of discipleship is seeing yourself as a disciple of Jesus Christ. This is an element of identity. Sociologists realise that there is a change in forming identity - we no longer look at the past and where we have come from, but to the future and where we want/hope to be.

Christianity will have conflict with this as we base our vision and identity on a book of the past. Modernity takes our chin and turns it towards the future. Tradition no longer holds authority; the holder of authority is now 'me'. Before we criticise this modern world, let's remember that even within church families, children are raised to set their own destiny, and to believe that they can do so. As another example, success of many Universities is based on research and discovery.

In a religious community, you were told who you were, and this identity connected to the religious movement. (Some sociologists use the phrase "only the king was alone".) But in our time if we find our identity as "a follower of Jesus Christ" that is much more nuanced than it has been in the past. There is also a (unfortunate) move amongst youth that they might say "I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. But that might change when I get to university."

The changing place of our identity

Skills and Abilities
Previous generations found identity in their skills and abilities. And adolescence is a time that this begins to happen. So if you find that you are good with numbers at that time, you would work on that and become an accountant.

Your Love
Identity also found in the ones you love. So I would be a husband and a father.

Melting

Melting of identity in skills.
In our societies, work and love are failing as things in which to find identity. We are in a time of fluidity. If a 15 year old declares they know what they are going to do for the rest of their life, we won't dismiss them, but we also understand that they will probably not continue doing that for the rest of their life. In economic fluidity, we can no longer find our identity in our work because our careers change so often.
Now, when kids go to university, parents will say "Don't get too bogged down in one thing."

Melting of love
Late marriage and a high divorce rate means it is more unlikely that people will fall in love only once.

Being involved in a religious community is seen as something that belongs to a 'conventional way of life' - mortgage, marriage, children. As this is happening later, this age group are disconnected to the church.
(Andrew commented that in university abandoning religion is seen as a sign of maturity, of growing up and away from your family. To maintain religion is seen as immaturity. There is so much wrong with this. To suggest that people who maintain and grow in their faith haven't taken the time to study and know it for themselves smacks of arrogance.)

If a 13 year old kid is leaving your youth group, she is probably asking big questions about her identity. And if her mum has just lost her job, she is also asking a lot of questions about her own identity.

from work to consumption
In our western world, it is what we own that reveals our identity. People cannot be so linked to their work because it can change so much, but can be linked to their possessions. Christian Smith book "Souls in transition" shows all people in the group answered this question the same way, "Is it ever not ok to buy something?" They all answered, "no".

So youth are greatly influenced by people like Kardashian who do nothing, but people love them. She just buys stuff, and this becomes significant. Illustration of people who hate being asked "What do you do for a living?" but are very happy to talk about the car they drive, or what they want to drive.
Parents who give their teenagers a credit card might seem ridiculous to me, but it might be that those parents understand that it is what their kids own that gives them social status and so projects their identity.

from love to intimacy (please note the definition of 'intimacy'.)
There is a change from love as traditionally understood to intimacy as the 'self gratifying sensation of closeness'. Twilight books and films were surprisingly popular amongst middle-aged women as the vampire character reveals a man who gives intimacy, even though in all reality no one would really want to be married to a vampire.

"It's not that I don't love him anymore, it's just that there's nothing there." Which means there has been a change from love to self-gratification. This is a time where people accept the phrase "If it's hard, it probably means it's not meant to be." (How pathetic is that!!!!)

We are heading to a generational crisis in the church. We will have generation of people who will see the church as something to consume; who will inherit a number of buildings and have no idea how to maintain them, and no will to do so.

These generations ask good and confronting questions to each other. The older asking the younger "You really think you can form identity around 'intimacy' and consumption?" While the younger generation ask the older ones, "You really want to bring people into a community and ask them to find their identity in a way that makes no sense anywhere else?"

Implications
If there is a change within the culture that we are mixing in, how can we present the gospel of Jesus, and the love and true intimacy found there, to a generation that will only give themselves to something based on what they can get?

Kids have grown up in an age of consumerism, so how do we connect with them?

And how do we also connect with the group who are mixing up consumerism and activism (fair-trade)? Interestingly, are we creating a generation who believe they can improve the world by buying stuff? By buying more 'fair-trade' stuff. By buying a flux watch . . .

One lady in the class used the illustration of a roller coaster to describe marriage. There are hard times going up, but once you get over that, it's a great ride. And you want to keep going.

What do I do with this?

Not sure yet. Do we fight against consumerism? That might help, or it might make us even more weird than we already seem. Which might be ok. Perhaps the question I need to wrestle with for now is "How do I help young people find their identity in Jesus alone?" Not 'Jesus and an iPhone', or 'Jesus and a university degree'. Nothing wrong with an iPhone (well . . .) or a university degree, but iPhones go out of date and most people don't work in the area they earned their degree in anyway.
Too much to think about!


Questions: How can the church be Counter-Cultural and still connect?