Second Session

Relational and Incarnational Youth Ministry 02

Session 2

(Sorry about the photos. I can't work out how to resize them on the iPad yet. And one of them is a bit fuzzy. I hope you get the idea. If you have any questions, leave a comment, or send me a message.)

Andrew Root began this session explaining why he got into this area of youth ministry. This story is in "Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry" and involves a group of kids turning up to use the steps for skateboarding. The church employed Andrew to bridge that gap between the church and these kids. How do you do ministry with kids who didn't accept your relationship but still keep coming back?

These kids weren't sure if he was there for them, or if he was there to get something from them - 

Why have relationships been an important part of youth ministry?

  -mutual encouragement amongst youth

  -trust builds up in relationship

  -you find you're not alone in your beliefs, or with what's going on in life

The term 'relational ministry' is a redundant term. How do you do ministry without a 'relationship'? Something happened after WW2 to bring this term into being. 

Changes in family and society

(See photo).

 

In times past so much happened within the family. It was here that people dealt with religious growth and questions. Luther's Small Catechism was written for families, not for pastors. Most education would happen within the family as well. (Little House on the Prairie shows the one school classroom - which is historically accurate). The family was also an economic unit. For the family to survive, you needed each other. 

Step into a modern world and we see these 'circles' have become worlds unto themselves.

(see photo 2) Work and School are separated from each other and from the family unit. This means that the relationship sphere is also separated from the family and you have to work out and negotiate relationships ourselves. (Used the illustration of making promises at a baby's baptism - promises that become impossible to keep. They are making these promises within the relationship sphere.)

Youth Ministers get frustrated that kids act one way at church and another way at school. But we forget that their parents are the same - relationships are now built in different contexts and we work through who I should relate to within these contexts. 

Field of cultural totality

Anthropologists tells us every society has some form of these things:

family

society

government

economy

religion

 In 1950's USA, Family and Religion were dominant cultural realms. Now, economy is dominant, with society close by. Religion is still there, but isn't guiding family choices as much as they would have in the past. 

Youth Ministers get frustrated that parents don't seem to support youth group etc. It's not that parents make this decision because they hate their kids. They make this choice because they love their kids and want to help their kids have a good future. It is the economic perception that guides their decision. 

If the first circle is the dominant scene, relationship just happens. With economy and society being dominant, relationship is on the outer. Now we begin to talk about and seek relationship. Youth are seeking to negotiate their way through relationship stuff in different contexts, and so it is our chance to help them here. 

How is this relevant? Kids who don't come to youth group much, but want to do their 'community service requirements' at youth group; or count the short-term mission trip to their Edinburgh award. Cultures who have a strong family commitment, but their kids are growing up in a different context and working to a good economic status. This is particularly when immigrant families bring their kids to a country to give them a better future, but still expect them to live like an old life. 

We should also consider that the first circle has many flaws as well. If dad is the village drunk, that is our family narrative. And not all religious contexts have been good. 

Defining Adolescence

Adolescence began in 1904.. For most human history, teenagers dressed like their parents. The transition from childhood to adulthood happened very quickly - native americans would go out on the big hunt as a child and return as an adult. Now we live in a culture that hangs onto adolescence. 

G Stanley Hall wrote a book called "Adolescence" that says sometime after 12-13 you have a psychic break, a time of stress and storm where you go crazy. No one had thought of this as a period of time. There are holes in this theory (Margaret Mead) but most of us see there is truth here too. 

The introduction of the High School further separated youth from adults. It also means the youth were spending longer at home and were spending less meaningful hours with their parents. 

So churches hire people who can work with these crazy teenagers

Relational Crisis

There is a backlash to what happened over this period. Amazing things were created, but bring with them their own problems. A new highway means people can travel quickly, but also means a lot of people died on that road. Power plants mean there are lights etc, but also a lot of pollution. Now there is a lot of freedom in negotiating relationships, but there is a danger in this too. 

We define relationships by technical rationality. Economy is guided by the bottom line and the numbers. We end up doing this in our relationships - even to the point of marriage. "It's not that you're a bad friend, but I feel like I'm putting more into this relationship than you are."

As such, it's not surprising that we put the word "relational" before "ministry" even though it shouldn't be needed. 

Our session today ended as it will each day with us watching a film. The film is called Thirteen and it is a harrowing film. Worse, it is real. It is not a film that is easy to watch, and I don't think I would recommend it, but a film such as this is worth watching to remind me that the beautiful life within the church is not what everyone else gets to lead. And I'm reminded that Jesus died for sinners, not just the ones who are in the church now. 

Comment: thirteen is an age of transition, but there is nothing to transition to but consumerism and hyper-sexuality.