Praying or Preying? What will you be remembered for?

My title comes from reading an article in the Houston Chronicle titled "Preying on Teens". It is subtitled, "More than 100 southern Baptist youth pastors convicted or charged in sex crimes."

In the article, I was introduced to Chad who was hired and ordained to be a youth pastor. Chad had a good message for his youth group about abstinence, but he also preyed on some of the girls under his leadership which made abstinence impossible. Not surprisingly, Chad was fired by the church - though perhaps not for this.

What is surprising is that these church leaders who fired Chad didn't say anything to the next church who hired Chad to be their youth leader. You'll never guess what happened next.

Actually, you probably will.

I encourage you to read the article. It can be a little confronting, but such is the reality of our world.

Read it and learn two things.

This is why screening is important. 

When someone wants to be a leader with PYV (Presbyterian Youth Victoria) we ask them for some referees that we can talk to, and we ask which church they previously belonged to. In talking to referees we are able to learn about the character of the person who is applying for a leadership role. This is important. I might only know this person as an acquaintance. Maybe we've met at a camp or two and I have an impression that they are interested, and growing in godliness.

When I call their pastor, or youth worker, or an AFES leader, I get to talk to someone who works with them much more consistently. If those people have some concerns, then they will carry more weight than my initial impression. And that is as it should be.

We ask about a previous church so we can call someone from that church to determine if there were any circumstances that are important for us to be aware of. In Chad's case, if the second church had called the first church, and the first church had been honest, at least one girl would not have been abused. And if we can protect that one girl, we will.

In Victoria, we are required to have a screening program in place for anyone involved in ministry to youth or children. We will take that seriously.

What not to do if you're attracted to someone in your youth group?

I'd like to think that any youth leader would know how to answer this, but apparently not. And we can't say, "Well, they're just immature adults in a sexualised society" as though that makes it all ok. This article refers to Chad, who was 30 when he was doing this, and Gary, who was nearly 40 when he started cultivating his victim. She was 13.

There are reasons we tell youth leaders not to have one to one phone or messenger conversations with teenagers. There are reasons we tell youth leaders not to be alone in a room with a teenager.

Ensure your relationship to each of the young people under your leadership is above board.

You will destroy your reputation, the lives of the people involved, their families, and possibly the church community if you mess this up.

We are in a time now where such sins will not be covered up, where church leaders cannot cover it up without facing significant consequences themselves, and this is absolutely as it should be. May we never return to times when such cover-ups happened.


Another thing to note:

Are teenagers safe to disclose abuse in your church?

Do teenagers in your church community know that they can talk to someone if they are asked to do something they're not comfortable with? Or if they think their leaders are acting in ways they shouldn't?

You will probably say to me, "Of course. We always let them know they can talk to us if they have any concerns."

That's great. But I'd challenge you to be specific. Talk about sexting. Use the right terminology (you might need to find out what the current terms are). And if parents tell you they don't want their young teenagers dealing with this, get them to read this article. You see, if the 13 year old girl knew that what her youth pastor was doing was wrong, maybe she wouldn't have waited until she was 16 before she did raise the issue.


Friends, let's do all we can to help people grow in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. And let's do all we can to keep these people safe.



Photo Credits:
Phone - Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
Couple - Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash